What Happens After the Call Is Made?
Feb 04, 2026When someone dies, this is how it usually unfolds.
A number is called. Often it’s a funeral provider the family already knows, or the one the hospital suggests.
Someone arrives.
Your person is taken away.
And then… silence.
The next time most people see the body is either in a casket at a funeral, or when cremated remains are returned in a cardboard box or an urn. What happens in between is rarely explained, rarely asked about, and often assumed to be fixed and unavoidable.
But it isn’t.
There is a whole middle chapter after death that most of us never see, and it’s full of choices.
The part we’re not taught to think about
For many families, not knowing what happens to a body after death is simply “the way it’s done.” There’s so much to manage in those early days of shock and grief that questions about after-death care don’t even surface.
And yet, this unseen time can include decisions about:
- How will your deceased be handled and by whom
- How long you want to be with your deceased after they die
- Who is present (and who is not)
- How natural changes be hastened or delayed
- What rituals are possible before or during a funeral, burial, or cremation
- How much involvement can family or community have
When these choices are left unexamined, they’re usually made by default, according to systems, timelines, or traditions that may or may not reflect who the person was.
That’s where so much missed opportunity lives.
Why would you want to know?
First: because you can have a say.
Knowing what’s possible opens the door to choice. When named ahead of time, even small preferences can shape a very different experience for the people who will be carrying out your wishes.
Second: because clarity often brings peace.
If you’re reading this, you’re probably not someone who is “creeped out” by death. You may actually find comfort in understanding what your body’s trajectory will be after you die.
I recently supported a woman who wanted to know every single detail of what would happen to her body. Not because she was anxious, but because understanding gave her a deep sense of calm. Knowing brought peace, not fear. And her family made some unconventional and very meaningful choices because of what they learned.
Third: because it’s an opportunity for connection and love.
Communicating with the people who will care for you after you die, such as family, friends, and even professionals can be a profound act of tenderness. For example, as a member of the local Jewish Burial Society, I was one of the people tasked with preparing this woman’s body for burial. The conversations we had beforehand about what I would be doing brought us closer in her dying days. This is something I’ll always cherish.
And finally: because it often makes for a better goodbye.
When after-death care aligns with someone’s values and beliefs, funerals and ceremonies tend to feel more grounded, more honest, and more connected. People often leave saying, “That really felt like them.”
An invitation
If you’re curious about what happens between death and your final laying to rest, and want to explore what you might want instead of default arrangements, I invite you to join us for 9 Things to Include in Your Departure Directions.
This workshop will help you see the landscape clearly, naming what matters, and open space for conversations that are often postponed until it’s too late.
